I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Randomize
