he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
