What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
