weddingsv make me drug and hornr
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
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