So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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