So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
