To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
