I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
