she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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