is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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