so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
