You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Randomize
