I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
