Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
