i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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