last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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