Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
