booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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