Duck Duck Cougar?
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
