Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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