i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
