Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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