How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
