ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
