oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
