Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
