do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Randomize
