HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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