Can Purell be used as lube?
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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