so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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