I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
