i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Randomize
