so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I'm always down for nudity.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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