It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize
