You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
