Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
