just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
