well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
