He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
