I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
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