its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Randomize
