When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
