WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
