whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Define "chronic" masturbator.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
