Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
