U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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