i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
