They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
