Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
