Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Even my vagina gasped.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
