i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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