i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
you will always have a special place in my vag
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
