I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
