mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
The beer is more important than you right now.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
